Thank you, Sophia, for writing deeply, and from a uniquely Christian perspective about relationships.
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We are all learning to get along and love people who are not us. God has made us all beautifully, wonderfuly and very differently, on purpose, to illustrate for the world what reconciliation and unity are really about: NOT sameness! We are each enabled by the same God, Son and Spirit for His purposes. In Christ, we are free to marry "in the Lord". Thanks for sharing a bit of your life. In our church in a university town there are many "interracial" couples, Asian, African, white, etc. But, we don't think of them that way.
They are our family and friends in Christ. Our society is hung up on racial identity, whereas, in Christ, we are focused on identity in Christ. Big difference! May you and others find the one to marry with whom you can serve Christ well. A good, honest article; thanks for sharing this with us.
I was wondering as I read—how much has social media contributed to your angst? Racial differences and angst, and even hostility, permeate every society and culture and can be traced throughout history.
It even exists among peoples of similar skin tones. There is seemingly always something that our sin nature can come up with as a reason to dislike someone else. In regards to dating, and marriage, one must remember that we marry a person and the family is part of the package. There will be issues regardless of the color of one's skin or racial heritage. This ripple effect is, unfortunately, unavoidable. Our response and how we handle it is the only part that we have any control over. And here, we have to fight our own inner demons.
When we were working on the adoption paperwork, we had to fill out questions about interracial dating. At the time, I remember thinking that I still hadn't figured out how I felt about my daughters dating at all and I had 16 and 13 year old daughters at the time. My daughter from China came home at age 14 and is now a college student. She hasn't dated, so I don't know if she has encountered this, and I had no idea that this was such a wide spread issue.
We've taught our girls that if the men they chose to marry live for Christ and love them deeply, the rest doesn't matter, but I can see that there may be other pressures.
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As an aside, I always read your articles for the insights about Asian culture and happenings in Asia, especially China as it helps inform my prayers for my daughter's friends known and family unknown in China. Thank you again for your transparency and courage in sharing. Sophia, I think the gender differences, male and female, is way more significant than any racial difference.
Yes, racial differences can be an added challenge. The one key is learning to understand, accept and work with your differences no matter where they come from. The other key has been our Faith in Christ and Trusting Him to get us through the rough times. It has been nothing short of miraculous.nsa-dz.com/components/30/828-envoyer-un.php
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I think our 40 plus years of married life is a testimony to those truths. I can remember many years ago, one of our close family friends went to Korea during the conflict war? There was some really negative talk about his bringing home a Korean wife - and we were all Christians! They are the most beautiful Godly couple, with lots of children and a stable, loving-Jesus family. I babysat for them as a teenager for many years.
Funny thing, lots of the whites complaining about the mixed marriage are now divorced! I wish we could stop looking at our skin to determine who we are or how we interract with others. Granted, there are cultural differences especially in the older generations who were raised up more deeply steeped in their cultural ways than their Americanized offspring.
Still, I know of so many mixed marriages and relationships where it just doesn't matter. Different strokes for different folks! As an added benefit, Asians and whites make the most beautiful babies ever! In fact, the problems show up when he no longer thinks he can please you.
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Men are very simple creatures. They demonstrate their value by solving problems and fixing things and occasionally they may make the mistake of trying to fix you.
Plus, nothing makes a man feel worse than to feel stuck in a problem he just can't solve so if you're unhappy too often, at some level, he's failed and he will try to distance himself from feeling like a failure. By contrast, nothing makes a man feel successful like you when you are happy — which is why a positive, happy and radiant woman is so appealing. When it comes to true demonstrations of masculine energy and the code it lives by, the concept of honor is practically inseparable from the ideal.
Whether it's warriors on the battlefield or symbolic "warriors" on the playing field, having your partner's back is the difference between winning and losing or even life and death. A man has got to trust that you're on his team and have his back, otherwise, he will never commit.
If there is one area I see women mess up time and again, it's in trying to define a relationship or tie a man down too soon. That's because her need to feel "safe" is in direct contrast to his innate desire for freedom and not being tied down. If you think about it, every soldier anywhere who has ever been killed in action has died trying to defend their idea of freedom.
When you realize that simple fact, you'll understand why he'll feel reluctant to just give it away, but don't worry.
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The good news is he will trade his freedom for something better, so just be better and don't try to force him into a decision too soon. When you really get what I've just shared and exude these nine traits, you will officially be in your man's head — and in his heart as well. That's because he will notice all the "logical" benefits of your wonderful traits right about the time his heart opens and "emotion" slowly enters the equation.
Oh, and there's one other thing that gets a man to act in the captivation stage: his competitive nature won't tolerate losing the greatest woman he's ever met to another man. When you follow this as outlined, it all adds up to something magical. When you embody a love of his Masculinity with your Appreciation for who he is, add in some Gratitude, a Nurturing spirit, an Easy-going nature, an ability to be Trustworthy, and honor his Independence all while captivating him — it all adds up to one thing. The final S is for Soulmate because that's what you'll have found.
Dave Elliot is a Neurostrategist and Coach who is known for getting results with a variety of techniques that enable rapid transformational change. More titles may be available to you. Sign in to see the full collection. From fierce and funny sexual fantasias to cutting observations of interracial dynamics, her work asks us to fully consider what it is to be human in an age of fragmentation and double meanings. There are no easy answers here: the voice of the liberated woman rings clearly as a man-eater in one moment, and shudders under the weight of lost love in the next. Laura skillfully navigates the trauma of being Other while acknowledging the absurdity of our perceptions of race.
With precise craft and breathtaking imagery, How to Seduce a White Boy blooms as a ferocious celebration of life. Availability can change throughout the month based on the library's budget. You can still place a hold on the title, and your hold will be automatically filled as soon as the title is available again. The OverDrive Read format of this ebook has professional narration that plays while you read in your browser.
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